Nearly nine in ten (88%) UK adults are online and, when it comes to young people, internet usage is near ubiquitous (98% of 16-24-year-olds). While 40% of the world’s population is on social media, here in the UK that figure jumps to 66%. And it plays a big role in our lives; the average person spends around two hours a day surfing these platforms. In this post we take a look at the benefits and the negatives of social media, before outlining some tangible steps you can take to make social media work for you.
Walking on eggshells. Constant criticism. Doubting your own mind. If any of that sounds familiar, you might be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Unfortunately, it’s one of the trickiest forms of abuse to spot. To help you better understand emotional abuse this post will take a look at what it is and explore why it’s hard to pin down, the impact it can have, some common signs to look out for and what to do if you think you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
While emotional abuse can happen in the workplace, within friendships and parent/child relationships, for the purpose of clarity this post will describe abuse in terms of intimate relationships.
What is a trauma bond?
As relationships develop over time, a biological and emotional process happens causing people to bond to one another; this is perfectly normal and without it out relationships would lack depth. However, this bonding process isn’t exclusive to healthy relationships and it can also manifest in toxic ones. And unfortunately, in this case, once bonded it can be incredibly difficult to leave a relationship.
The Christmas holidays can be an emotional time. The joys of the season are often countered by the stresses and strains of family dynamics and an increased workload at home – especially if you are hosting large numbers!
If you have young children in your life they can add fun, chaos, sleep-deprivation, and noise to the mix which often increases overall stress-levels. The winter temperatures and wet conditions also make the usual outdoor ‘letting off steam’ time harder to manage.
For others, Christmas can be a time of great sadness as absent loved-ones are painfully missed. Some spend Christmas alone by choice or necessity. Either way, imagining others surrounded by friends and family can be distressing and draining on limited emotional resources.
Far from feeling rested and revived after the ‘break’, returning to ‘normal life’ in the New Year can feel exhausting and overwhelming. The pressure of finding new ways to ‘improve’ yourself in a bid to stick to advertising-encouraged New Year’s resolutions can feel like an additional ‘to do’ rather than nourishing self-care. It’s no wonder that the first weekend in January is the busiest time of the year for holiday booking companies!
If you too are feeling depleted, it may be time to do LESS not more. If you could pick just one thing to stop this month which would help you feel less tired and better resourced at the end of each day – what would it be?
This needn’t be something big or even something you remove permanently from your life. Simply, for now – what could you give yourself permission to stop doing in order to conserve energy and recharge? Here are some ideas to think about to get you started but please share yours too, I’d love to hear them!
- Take a break from social media for a month
- Check emails no more than twice a day
- Take regular breaks during the day – no need to fill this time being productive – simply rest!
- Delegate household chores amongst the whole family
- Spend less time with people who drain your energy (and ideally replace them with those who boost your mood)!
- Ask for help from friends and family with child-care/dog-walking etc.
- Go to bed an hour earlier than usual
- Say no to additional requests for your time from work/schools/clubs etc.
Self-care starts with giving yourself permission to rest. As any flight attendant will tell you – it’s important to put your own oxygen mask on first before you are equipped to be able to help others.
Losing a loved one to suicide is often described as ‘grief with the volume turned up’. To start with, you have to cope with all the difficult emotions typically associated with losing somebody, which can be a traumatic experience in its own right.But losing someone to suicide adds an additional layer of complex reactions, making coping even more of a challenge.