Grief is not a linear process, and there is no correct way to grieve. Most people find that with time, support, and space, they are gradually able to carry their loss rather than be crushed by it. But for some, grief becomes stuck. The pain does not soften as expected, and ordinary life continues to feel impossible to re-enter months or even years after a bereavement.
This is sometimes referred to as complicated grief, prolonged grief disorder, or traumatic bereavement. Whatever the name, the experience is one of being unable to move forward, even when you very much want to.
What complicated grief can look like
- Intense longing or yearning for the person who has died that does not reduce over time
- Difficulty accepting that the loss has happened
- Bitterness, anger, or a sense that life is meaningless without the person
- Avoiding anything that is a reminder of the person, or conversely, being unable to stop focusing on them
- A sense of having lost part of your own identity alongside the person
- Feeling unable to trust others or to invest in life and relationships again
How therapy can help
Complicated grief often has roots beyond the loss itself: in the circumstances of the death, in the nature of the relationship, in previous losses, or in earlier experiences that the bereavement has reactivated. Therapy offers space to explore these layers carefully, without rushing or minimising what you are carrying.
At Inner Space, we approach grief with patience and without any expectation of what recovery should look like. Our work connects closely with bereavement and loss, trauma, and depression.
Cruse Bereavement Support offers helplines and information for those experiencing grief.