Has your relationship lost its spark? Does being with your partner feel like unrewarding hard work? Are you considering leaving?
Remaining in a fulfilling, loving, long-term partnership is difficult. It requires patience, empathy and excellent communication skills and even then, disagreements are inevitable. We aren’t born with these skills and if we don’t develop them, we can experience all sorts of relationship issues from an inability to ask for what we need to keeping significant secrets from one another.
The good news is, if you fundamentally love each other and both want to move your relationship forward to a healthier place, you can.
Why are relationships hard work?
Living with someone and successfully combining two lives together is challenging. Even if you feel on the same wavelength as your partner, you’re ultimately two separate people who are bound to have different views on any number of things, from the correct way to load the dishwasher to how to parent your children. Every committed relationship requires work to negotiate these differences in a healthy manner, that leaves you both feeling good.
Relationships also shift as time progresses. Over the course of the years, as we take on more responsibilities like new careers, having children or caring for elderly relatives, there is less time for nurturing your relationship. Add to that the typical stresses associated with modern life, like ignoring your partner for your phone or struggling to establish a healthy work-life balance, and it’s easy to see why relationships can struggle.
Signs you could benefit from relationship counselling
It can be tricky to determine what’s a rough patch and when a relationship is in serious trouble. If you recognise yourself or your partner in any of the following examples, it may indicate your relationship needs some attention.
- You can’t talk without fighting: You can’t discuss your feelings or issues without it spiralling into a toxic argument.
- You avoid certain topics: You don’t bring up certain issues for fear of triggering unhealthy behaviour.
- You have the same argument on repeat: The same issue keeps cropping up without ever being meaningfully resolved.
- You don’t feel like you’re on the same team: You view each other as the antagonist and find it difficult to see anything from the other’s point of view.
- You have experienced a change in intimacy: You turn away from the others bids for intimacy.
- You feel indifferent: You have got to the point where you no longer care if the other is upset and aren’t interested in prioritising their needs or spending time together.
- You keep secrets from one another: You have started lying or withholding information about significant matters.
- You have been through a major event: You’ve gone through a trauma together or experienced infidelity.
Couples counselling is not exclusively for traditional partnerships, like spouses. It can also be useful for strengthening other relationships too. We see plenty of family combinations, such as siblings or parent and child, for relationship counselling.
How can relationship counselling help?
If your relationship needs any degree of work, from learning how to have healthier disagreements to navigating the fallout from an affair, counselling can help.
Together with your therapist you will explore your shared experiences and individual thought and behavioural patterns, which will help shine a light on the specific issues in your relationship.
By attending counselling together you’ll each demonstrate your commitment to the relationship and one another. Practically speaking, you’ll develop the skills, like effective communication, which you need to move your relationship forward and develop a deeper connection.
Rest assured, we don’t take sides. Our couples counselling offers a non-judgemental, unbiased space where each partner will be respectfully listened to. We’ll work with you both to identify your main issues and support you as you work together to build the future you want for yourselves.
If you’re interested in exploring how relationship counselling could help you and your partner, book in for a free phone consultation with one of our team by calling 01892 249032. Alternatively, click on the green ‘book a consultation’ button to automatically select a time that suits you.